Kirby on gay marriage: It’s official – I don’t care

– Ha, this is an excerpt from the October 26th, 2008, piece by The Salt Lake Tribune’s columnist, Robert Kirby. 

– Funny stuff indeed, since he’s writing from the heart of Mormon country and they, in their Christian purity, have declared gay marriage to be anathema.  

– Go Kirby!    Maybe you’ll wake them up (though I doubt it).

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A couple of years ago, I wrote a column in which I announced my official position on gay marriage. Basically, I don’t care.

Not only do I not care if gays get married, it is none of my business. As a flaming heterosexual, it’s a full-time job for me just to keep my thoughts clean in church. I don’t have the energy to fret about somebody else’s libido.

The column must have resurfaced on the Internet. I’m getting mail again telling me what a failure I am as a Mormon because I’m not solidly behind Proposition 8. As I understand it, the California ballot item would prevent the domestication of homosexuals. Or something like that.

[snip – here were a number of appeals for him to change his mind]

Hard as it is to counter such brilliant logic, my position hasn’t changed. The only serious concern I have about gays getting married is that they’ll register someplace pricey.

The church is serious about the sanctity of marriage. I get that. But aren’t more potentially “dangerous” marriages already being performed out there?

For example, I hear in church all the time about marriage being ordained of God. But I also hear about how the glory of God is intelligence.

Shouldn’t it be against the law for stupid people to get married? What’s more harmful to society – two well-dressed men getting married and settling down, or two idiots tying the knot and cranking out any number of additional idiots?

You should have to pass a harder test to get married than the one we currently have. Essentially, there are but two questions: “How old are you?” and “Is that your sister?” Hell, you could pass this test just by guessing. 


– research thanks to PHK

One Response to “Kirby on gay marriage: It’s official – I don’t care”

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Nice 🙂 I commend Kirby but perhaps logic is not the best method of argument for his targeted audience.