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Sharon and I were sitting together on a plane about to land in Denver. The plane began to bank right in preparation for landing and somehow I could see the banking indicator in front of me. The plane kept banking over further and further and then it began to nose down steeply. I was also able to see right through the nose of the plane so I could see the ground below. I was thinking this was an interesting thing for a jet to do but that it doesn’t look good.

Awakening

I found myself walking hand in hand with Sharon about a block or so outside the airport buildings. It was twilight and there weren’t many people about. I realized I had no idea how I’d gotten there and I said so to her.

She relied, “I don’t either.” We weren’t upset or emotional about this – just amazed that we should find ourselves somewhere with no idea how we’d gotten there.

We walked towards the buildings and Sharon glanced out into the open spaces to the right and said, “Maybe that’s the reason.” Off in the distance, it seemed like something had happened. It was hard to see in the semi-dark but it looked like there was a big dark area with a small pale of smoke above it. I looked and saw what she meant and said, “Maybe.”

We went into the buildings and up some stairs. I was feeling light somehow and I imagined that I could fly and a moment later, I was floating beside her as she climbed the stairs. I said, “Look, I’m flying.” She began to fly with me as we went up.

I realized now that we might be dead and that we could do new things. I couldn’t think why we needed to be at the airport any more so I suggested that we simply pass through the next door we came to and that on the other side we’d pop out into our own place. And we did.

Home

When we entered the room, I thought I recognized it but I was only partially sure that it was ours. It seemed familiar but strange at the same time. I had the sense we were renting it though I knew we owned our place.

Then we went out and we were walking at night in the neighborhood and talking about all of this strangeness. I remember weaving our way through a narrow passage between some bushes and saying, “Gosh, I don’t know what we do like this. Do we eat? Do we sleep? It’s really bizarre.” She didn’t know either.

I began to wonder, as we walked through a crowd of people, if we could influence them. Make them aware of us. I wondered what it would be like to walk through them. Would I see their insides? I pulled my keys out of my pocket and realized I had physical possession of them and I wondered what the boundaries were between what we could effect and what we couldn’t.

We walked and talked some more about various things like food and water and after awhile, I said, “This will be a problem because we have a place to stay right now but it won’t stay ours.”

I continued, “I mean we’re not here to pay a mortgage or rent so we won’t have a place that’s ours.”

She said, “Yeah, this is probably the sort of thing that forces people to move onto their next reincarnation. We just won’t have anything to do here after awhile.”

Loss

Then the dream jumped again, and we were laying there face to face in bed. And I finally realized, after all this walking around as a ghost, how sad it was and that I was going to be forced to advance and leave this life and this relationship with Sharon behind.

I grabbed her and held her really close and began to cry really hard because I loved her and didn’t want to lose her.

Later

Later, after I awake from crying in my dream and I got up and recorded all of this, I went back to bed and dreamt again.

I found that I was looking up at a squarish church steeple somewhere in California and on the steeple a banner was hung that said, “Cull Ghats“.

I awoke again and lay there and thought about what “Cull Ghats” might mean. And I realized that it was, somehow, the title of the dream I’d just had about the crash.

I’ve been focusing a lot in meditation these last few days on asking for guidance in how I can best us my life and my time here.

Concurrently, over the last few days, I’ve been having what I call circular dreams; dreams that repeat and repeat to the point of being annoying. In this case, though, I had the feeling that there was something I was being offered in these dreams; some thing I was suppose to ‘get’. I mentioned this to Sharon yesterday.

Yesterday’s meditation was again partially focused on asking for guidance and being open to it. Last night, my dreams became a bit clearer.

Lucid dreaming is the act of controlling how your dream unfolds because you’ve realized, in the dream, that you can be an active participant rather than just a passive observer.

I think my circular dreams were offering me an opportunity to do this. They repeated enough times that I began to separate myself from them and become an active participant.

As is usual with many dreams, I’ve lost much of what these dreams were about, upon awaking, but they seem to have been about my trip to New Zealand and about moving between cultures.

The lucid part had to do with how I experienced one of the sequences. I was able to consciously choose to alter my reaction to the sequence. Later, as I was dreaming, I was able to create an entirely new portion of the dream by willing it. All of this, the long sequences and my alterations of them, repeated several times before I drifted into waking.

When I sensed that I was coming into the waking state, I tried to ‘fix’ what was happening in my memory so that I would be able to recall it and describe it later. I was, as you can tell, only partially successful at this.

So, was there a connection between the focus of my meditations and the fact that I had this experience? Impossible to know, but I believe so even though I can’t say what the connection/purpose was.

One final comment which is pretty remote from the main point of this post and it has to do with why we forget dreams.

I think we are capable of thinking/experiencing thoughts in dreams which have no correspondence here in physical reality. As an example, to make this idea clearer, imagine that our physical world exists in black and white and always has and yet can we experience a world of color when we close our eyes and dream. While we’re in the dream, the colors are real but when we open our eyes, they vanish, even from our memories, because they have no counterparts here.

Like everyone else, I’ve often awoke from intense dreaming only to forget everything. And, in addition, I’ve often sat in meditation and drifted into a long line of musing thought only to realize, after I’ve been following this train of thought for some time, that my intention for the meditation was to exist in wordless awareness and that I’ve forgotten what I was doing. Once I ‘remember’ myself and snap out of the chain of thought, it usually vanishes completely. So, here I’ve been sitting up, conscious, aware and following some chain of thought through my mind and a second later, I can remember nothing of what I was thinking even though I was completely lost in the experience of it the moment before.