Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

070217 – Saturday – Viet-Nam and Iraq

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

The tides of history swell high for one thing and then they recede and rise again for another. Just like the whims of fashion, the big issues come and go – just as the skirt lines rise and fall.

Viet-Nam came and went. A great rolling tide that swept through my generation and took 57,000 of us who were unfortunate enough to have been born at just the right time to be harvested by the drafts of war. Viet-Nam then, Iraq now.

The passions of the old men for their convictions, for their patriotisms, and for making their marks on the shifting sands of history – these come and go with the administrations, with the parties, and with the ebb and flow of the manufactured news we’re fed and the causes we’re told are of vital importance. Vital, that is, until the next election, until the next summer breeze of political fashion sweeps through the beltway. But, the deadly consequences of those fickle and changing winds may have, by then, spilt into our lives with a cold permanence that denies the transience of their summer’s passing.

Last night, we watched “Nixon – A Presidency Revealed” and it left me sad and thoughtful about all the things that happened back then and what we were told and believed at the time – and how it has all come out so differently now in the clarity of time and hindsight. Then, so much of the essential mechinations were hidden and we had to rely on the explanations we were given to make sense of things. We were saving a country from being overrun against their will, We were leading the fight to preserve democracy in the world. Our leaders knew the best course of action for our country as they guided the great enterprise through the shoals of history. We were not quitters. We had the integrity of our convictions. The lives we were spending would be vindicated by the judgments of the histories yet to be written.

But, in the White House, behind the magic curtains, different stories and reasons were weaving their webs. Paranoia begat paranoia, tape recorders ran, lists of enemies were made and break-ins planned and almost executed well – but not quite. Vice-President Agnew left in deep disgrace for his own crimes and Nixon stone-walled while the bombs fell into the deep jungles of Cambodia and into the lives of those on the ground there with the utter permanence of death.

As the House and Senate met to begin the process of driving the President out, and the strange war began to wind down into defeat, the last chapters of its illogic were writ large before us even though we couldn’t recognize them as such through the spin they were packaged in.

In one deep irony, the North Vietnamese, after long negotiations with the United States, agreed to end the war jointly with us. But, when we carried this agreement to our allies, the South Vietnamese, and showed them, they rejected it. So, we rewarded the flexibility of the North by sending in the bombers to bomb their population centers and force them into a new agreement – one that the government of the South might like better. And all this time, the lives of our 57,000 dribbled away while Nixon fretted and plotted and the months and years and the whole long saga of political decisions gone bad unrolled and unraveled.

57,000 killed and I don’t even know how many maimed and crippled physically, emotionally and mentally for life. All of it so utterly permanent. The wives, the girlfriends, the parents, the children and the siblings left behind in every American city to pick up the bits and pieces of their shattered families, lives and dreams. Think of the old photographs that sit now on honored tables and shelves remembering a life that could have been, that almost was, before it was cut permanently short serving ‘the cause’.

This is the thing that I feel most deeply about wars like Viet-Nam and Iraq and the thing that I have the hardest time expressing well; this juxtaposition between the utter permanence of the deaths they cause and the insubstantiality of the political causes for which those lives were given. The administrations and the political passions of the old men come and go.  But, for the young ones who die,for those who are crippled and maimed, and for those who remain afterwards as half men with half minds and half lives – they will suffer and bear these burdens until the entire scarred and misused generation passes away.

When I said ‘no’ to Viet-Nam while in the Air Force back then, I was ostracized by many of my superiors, ignored by most of my peers and supported by very few of any of them.

The officers and the lifer non-coms told me how unpatriotic I was and how disloyal to this great country. They told me that our leaders knew what they were doing and that they should be beyond questioning by the likes of me. That my job was just to get on with it – what ever I was told to do. I lived with the pressure, the silence and the threat of a court-martial for months out on the Texas coast during those terrible months in 1970. And all the while, as the President denied bombing and invading Cambodia, the men in my unit were rotating back from Southeast Asia and were telling those of us still here what was really happening.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes…again

– the Doors, “The End”

So, Iraq spins out now. The reasons and the stories swirl around us in the press. The administration says, the press says, foreign governments say. Everyone says and everyone has an opinion. More troops – let’s do a surge and win – pull the troops out without destroying the country – this is about oil not democracy – this is about democracy – if you don’t agree with us, you are a traitor and a coward.

We’ve heard it all. And, very likely, we’ve heard very little of what we will be hearing in twenty or thirty years when hindsight and the historians have cut through the fog of war and revealed all the things that go on behind the magic curtains.

But, the young men and woman who are dying today for us everyday over there, who are crippled and maimed for life over there, …we should cry for them that they are so naive, so innocent, so willing, so patriotic and so foolish as to risk everything without ever having understood the history of the Viet-Nam War or how the political passions of the old men come and go in Washington.

Without having ever realized that this ’cause’ they are dying for will be yesterday’s news as soon as the breeze of political passions changes again in Washington. Today’s resisters will be pardoned tomorrow, today’s great causes, that seem so worth dying for today, will be tomorrow’s raked over errors and misjudgements – just old news gone stale.

Somewhere, a young man will sit without his arm, or his manhood or his sanity and wait for the rest of his long and damaged life to dribble away. Today’s passions and great causes will have turned to dust in mere months while the consequences will, for him, fill all of the rest of his life. And the young who died for us – their names will be written on stones in graveyards or walls in the capitol and their pictures will sit on honored shelves until they are finally packed away into boxes for the future generations who will surely forget.

But all that they could have been, all their dreams and potentialities, all their children, families and careers, will have been so permanently and utterly spent for a transient political wind which was so very fickle and so very transient.

070216 – Friday – Bad E-mail ettiquette

Friday, February 16th, 2007

<miss manners rant on>

Miss Manners

I get a lot of E-mail from friends and sometimes my correspondents will copy a whole bunch of us at once. Well, in many cases, when I see this, I cringe because they are committing a huge faux pas – which I know they are unaware of.

Consider these two E-mail headers:

To: jim@abc.com; mary@xyz.com; john@123.com
Cc: marty@yahoo.com; Ollie@hotmail.com
Bcc:
Subject: bad E-mail security

-and-

To: dennis@samadhisoft.com
Cc:
Bcc: jim@abc.com; mary@xyz.com; john@123.com; marty@yahoo.com; Ollie@hotmail.com
Subject: good E-mail security

In the first header, the sender is unwittingly sharing the E-mail address of every person he’s written to with everyone else on the list. Now, in the early days of E-mail, no one would have cared much. But now, privacy has become a real issue in all of our lives. I sometimes get E-mails with the addresses of dozens and dozens of people I don’t know this way. People whose E-mail addresses I really have no business having or knowing unless they care to share them with me.

Lucky for us, our E-mail programs have a way to allow us to send E-mails to many people at once without making all of their E-mail addresses public to all of the others. It is called the Bcc field where ‘Bcc’ means ‘Blind Carbon Copy‘. In the second header, above, I’ve sent my five E-mails to the same five people but now when they receive them, none of them will be able to see the other’s E-mail addresses. All they will know is that they received a copy of an E-mail I apparently sent to myself.

This can be useful in another way too. Consider the following E-mail header:

To: myboss@bigcorp.com
Cc: personel@bigcorp.com
Bcc: max@bigcorp.com
Subject: cubicals are evil

So, here I’ve written a letter to my boss and I’ve copied it to personel as a cover-my-ass move. But, in addition, I want to fill my friend, Max, in on what’s going on but I don’t want anyone else to know that Max is in the loop. In this case, Max will get a copy of the E-mail and no one else will be the wiser.

Now, sometimes the Bcc option is not displayed for you when you are writing an E-mail. It’s there, you just have to find out how to make it visible. In Microsoft’s Outlook E-mail program, when you are writing an E-mail and you have the new E-mail open on the screen, pull down the View Menu and you should find a menu item called ‘Bcc field’. Put a check mark in front of it to turn the Bcc field on.

<miss manners rant off>

070216 – Friday – winter blogging

Friday, February 16th, 2007

I go in bursts on this blog. A few days without posts and then a big burst. I have to fit the time in when I can now and if I’m actually going to write some of my own stuff (rather than just posting snippets from significant news stories), I have to allow even more time.

Today, I’ve got nine news articles stacked up to blog on. I scan for them using RSS Bandit & at odd moments during the day and whenever I see one I want to post, I drop a link to it on my desktop and then when I’m ready to blog, I’ve got a stack ready to go.

It’s been busy here at the nursery. It’s still wintry here. I’m not sure I’ve seen a sunny day since I’ve been back. I shot a picture about an hour ago east up the Woods Creek Valley towards the North Cascades Mountains and Stevens Pass to give you the flavor of things here.

East towards Stevens Pass and the North Cascades

Yesterday, we had our first semi-truck of the season deliver here. It’s a procedure we’ve been through many times now. I go down and meet the trucker and drive him up here and show him the layout and how we want him to pull in and position his truck. Then I drop him off and we go out to block the road while he maneuvers the big rig into the nursery. With the trees, we take them off with the big tractor one bucket full at a time and drop them into the parking lot and then, if there are plants in pots in the back of the truck (and there generally are), we have him pull his rig down to the other end of the nursery through the utility gate and we unload them there near the potting shed. When we unload potted stuff, we bring it down on a wooden ramp from the truck in wheel barrows and carts. Sometimes, it can take most of the day to unload a truck and other times, like yesterday, we can get it done around lunch time. It goes quicker if it is mostly trees. Here are a bunch of photos from truck-day. Just place your cursor on top of them and they should explain themselves and to see them bigger, double click them.

Here comes the truck Jesus, Dino and Alfredo ready to work! Jesus, Sharon and Dino discussing what goes where

Alfredo and Edilia unloading the tractor bucket Your author’s got the cushy job driving the tractor Jesus and Dino loading the tractor with spiral cut Alberta Spruces

Alfredo by the growing collection of stock in the parking lot Alfredo pulling a cart back to the truck at the potting shed Dino and Jesus unloading pots down the ramp

We’ve got another truck in next week. Customers are already coming around and things will be getting very busy soon. Sharon closed the gate at 3 PM today and came in and told me that this is probably the last time we’ll close it this early on a Friday until November. It’s exciting and I like it. The days are intense as you juggle 10 things at once all day long and try not to let anything fall through the cracks. Customers and nature all swirling around you and you feel blessed – remembering how it was when you lived in a cubicle and the corporation held your chain and you hoped they wouldn’t yank it <smile>.

Cheers from the Snohomish, my friends.

070211 – Sunday – Cynical – a retraction….

Sunday, February 11th, 2007

I had two people point out to me that I had no idea what sort of editing went into the YouTube piece to create the effect they wanted.   Did they interveiw a hundred people and only keep and play the dumber responses and just let us assume that they were representative of all of the people in the intervierw?   I was too quick to post it and I’m appreciative of those who called me on it.   I’ll try to think it through a bit better next time.

So, the piece I published here early has been taken down.

070211 – Sunday – Lucid Dreaming

Sunday, February 11th, 2007

I’ve been focusing a lot in meditation these last few days on asking for guidance in how I can best us my life and my time here.

Concurrently, over the last few days, I’ve been having what I call circular dreams; dreams that repeat and repeat to the point of being annoying. In this case, though, I had the feeling that there was something I was being offered in these dreams; some thing I was suppose to ‘get’. I mentioned this to Sharon yesterday.

Yesterday’s meditation was again partially focused on asking for guidance and being open to it. Last night, my dreams became a bit clearer.

Lucid dreaming is the act of controlling how your dream unfolds because you’ve realized, in the dream, that you can be an active participant rather than just a passive observer.

I think my circular dreams were offering me an opportunity to do this. They repeated enough times that I began to separate myself from them and become an active participant.

As is usual with many dreams, I’ve lost much of what these dreams were about, upon awaking, but they seem to have been about my trip to New Zealand and about moving between cultures.

The lucid part had to do with how I experienced one of the sequences. I was able to consciously choose to alter my reaction to the sequence. Later, as I was dreaming, I was able to create an entirely new portion of the dream by willing it. All of this, the long sequences and my alterations of them, repeated several times before I drifted into waking.

When I sensed that I was coming into the waking state, I tried to ‘fix’ what was happening in my memory so that I would be able to recall it and describe it later. I was, as you can tell, only partially successful at this.

So, was there a connection between the focus of my meditations and the fact that I had this experience? Impossible to know, but I believe so even though I can’t say what the connection/purpose was.

One final comment which is pretty remote from the main point of this post and it has to do with why we forget dreams.

I think we are capable of thinking/experiencing thoughts in dreams which have no correspondence here in physical reality. As an example, to make this idea clearer, imagine that our physical world exists in black and white and always has and yet can we experience a world of color when we close our eyes and dream. While we’re in the dream, the colors are real but when we open our eyes, they vanish, even from our memories, because they have no counterparts here.

Like everyone else, I’ve often awoke from intense dreaming only to forget everything. And, in addition, I’ve often sat in meditation and drifted into a long line of musing thought only to realize, after I’ve been following this train of thought for some time, that my intention for the meditation was to exist in wordless awareness and that I’ve forgotten what I was doing. Once I ‘remember’ myself and snap out of the chain of thought, it usually vanishes completely. So, here I’ve been sitting up, conscious, aware and following some chain of thought through my mind and a second later, I can remember nothing of what I was thinking even though I was completely lost in the experience of it the moment before.

070207 – Wednesday – I need help, please

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

I’m not particularly good at marketing and outreach so this Blog has significantly less readers than it might. I have asked a few other blogs that I like to cross link with me and a few have and some have driven decent amounts of traffic towards samadhisoft. But, there’s lots more that could be done.

If you like this blog and if you follow other blogs that are compatible in samadhisoft’s outlook, consider asking them if they would be willing to cross link with samadhisoft. If you, a reader asks, it will have more impact and thus a better chance of selling the idea than if I ask since I’m the author of the site.

I’m also open for other ideas about how else I might increase my outreach. Perhaps you work with websites and know a lot about how websites position themsleves to increase their readership? If you like what you read here, I would appreciate any advice you’d be willing to share.

I’m passionate about what I write here and I hope it shows. I think these points of view need to get a wider dispersal. Help me expand samadhisoft’s readership.

Thanks!

070203 – Saturday – In the Pacific Northwest

Saturday, February 3rd, 2007

I arrived at the airport in Christchurch at about 1:30 PM Saturday local and landed in Seattle this evening at 6:00 PM Saturday local. Elapsed time was 25.5 hours – end to end with all the adjustments in place. That’s a lot of sitting-in-airports-time in addition the the hours in the sky.

So, I’ve had two beers, eaten some fine bread. olive oil and diced garlic (thanks to my fine wife) and watched a movie called Resurrection from 1980, petted a dog and six cats and now I’m getting ready to shut down for the day and take a real snooze. Tomorrow, when I awake, I will ‘really’ be here. It’ll be winter, which may take some getting used to.

070202 – Friday – Last Day in New Zealand

Thursday, February 1st, 2007

8:30 PM and I’m tearing things down in preparation for flying back to the US tomorrow. Always a strange feeling to be in the edge of a big trip. A bit of neither here nor there feeling.

Cheers, my friends. My next post will be from the other side of the planet in the Pacific Northwest.

070130 – Tuesday – New Zealand Friends

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

I said I was going to write a piece and summarize some of my experiences here in New Zealand before I fly back to the US – here it is.

Well, there are so many many impressions. I could say a lot about the city of Christchurch. About how beautiful it is, about how it is truly a walking scale city. And that I haven’t missed having a car in the two and half months I’ve been here. The English influence is everywhere. The river across the street is called the Avon and you can see punters going up and down it. Many of the buildings are are done in the English stone style. It is clean and vibrant.

And there would be much to say about the country itself and the weather. I really could go on and on for a long time on all of these topics. But, I’d be missing one of the major points if I did. And that about the people here and how welcoming and friendly they are.

I’ve been keeping a daily calendar for the final three weeks leading up to February 3rd when I fly back to the US. Mainly I’ve kept it so I could see at a glance how much time I still have left and coordinate that information with how much I still have to get done.

But the story the calendar really tells is how many social engagements I’ve been having. Invitations to lunch, invitations to dinner, walks about town, tennis, walks in the park and hikes in the Port Hills.

When I came here on November 16th, I knew one fellow and his wife whom I’d met on the Internet because we have shared interests. Now, as I’m preparing to leave, I have a long list of people I will be calling, visiting or E-mailing to say my goodbyes to. It’s been an amazing experience. In two months, I feel like I have a community of friends here. Frankly, I’ve lived places in the US (Los Angeles, for example) where I was surrounded by millions and millions of people and never seemed to meet a soul.

I don’t normally think of myself as a gregarious outgoing friendly person who finds it easy to strike up new acquaintances. No, I think the difference is in the people I’m meeting here. And by that I mean both the native Kiwis and the American expatriates I’ve met.

The American expatriates, by the very fact that they are here as immigants to a new country half way around the world, are interesting. They’ve chosen to leave the “American dream” for another dream. It’s a selection filter, I think. By the time folks have manifested the courage, intelligence and drive to get themselves here, they’ve been winnowed down into a group of people who are fascinating, to say the least.

But, then there are the Kiwis who are an amazing and friendly lot in their own way. I’ve met neighbors here at the apartment building where Sharon and I own our apartment. I’ve met couples at the small movie theater at the Christchurch Art Center. I talked with a bus driver as I rode the bus to the other side of downtown and before it was done, we’d exchanged phone numbers and then later he and his wife took me on a hike in the Port Hills above Christchurch. The friend I met earlier via the Internet before I’d ever even come to Christchurch has has me to his house for dinner half a dozen times while I’ve been here. I’ve met his family, shared in stories of his dreams and ambitions, traded books and enjoyed reading to and playing games with his two young daughters.

The realtor we bought our place through became my landlord for a month while I took his place as I waited for the real estate deal to close on our apartment. And he and another realtor, who we also worked with back in August, have both kept up the connection we’ve shared lunches together.

With the expatriates, we’ve shared our stories; information about how things work here; taxes, immigration, insurance, medical, auctions, whatever. We’ve had parties and brought 20 of us together, we’ve met for lunch, we’ve gone out and ate, we’ve drank beer and told the stories of our lives until late in the evening, they’ve slept on my couch, they’ve loaned me DVDs, they’ve introduced me to their friends and they’ve taken me along to conferences. They’ve driven me across town to feed me dinner and they’ve come and sat on my couch and talked and turned a new apartment into a home with memories.

The Kiwis have had me to dinner, invited me to tennis, explained a thousand things to me, have opened their hearts and their homes to me in spite of the fact that I’m a foreigner. They’ve talked with me about politics and kidded me very good naturedly about being an American and, in short, have made me feel very honored and welcome.

Today, I had lunch with Keith, a Kiwi and the manager of the apartment building I’m in. This afternoon, the manager Keith, Peter. an American airline pilot and expatriate, and Graham, a Kiwi who lives here in the apartments with his wife, Judy, invited me to join them and we played three sets of tennis. Tonight, Graham and Judy had me to dinner at their place along with Keith and a couple, Ron and Marsha, who are an American couple from New Jersey who’ve spent two to three months here in New Zealand every southern summer for the last six years and rent a unit in this building. Judy cooked an excellent meal for all of us and Marsha brought a scrumcious cake and the conversation and kidding around made for a relaxed and fun evening.

Tomorrow, Wednesday the 31st, I ride the Trans-Alpine train from Christchurch across the Southern Alps over to Greymouth on the West Coast and back (8:15 Am to 6:05 PM – roundtrip). I’ll be going with two of my favorite expatriates, Alex and Tobi. And, when we arrive for an hour’s layover in Greymouth, there’s an excellent chance that another expatriate, Bryan, who lives there will come and see us at the station and stroll about with us.

Thursday, I’ll be deep into preparing to vacate here on Saturday but that evening, I’ll ride the bus out to Harewood to Robert’s house and join him, his wife, Cynthia and their two beautiful little girls for what will be our last get-together this visit.

Then, on Friday, I’ll be cleaning the apartment and packing things up to take home or store here. And that evening, Keith is having a barbeque here at the apartments along with Graham, Judy, Ron and Marsha and I’ve been invited to that.

It is all quite amazing to me how I’ve been enfolded into so many lives in such a short time. I’ve been very blessed.

With regard to New Zealand, two and half months here have only served to confirm and deepen my feelings about the country. It is a beautiful place and it truly is one of the world’s best kept secrets.

Saturday, I’ll begin the 12 to 14 hour trek home from Christchurch to Auckland to Los Angeles to Seattle where I am so looking forward to seeing my wife and giving her a big long hug. It’s not easy to leave New Zealand but I know I’ll be coming back again next November 13th and that will give me something special to look forward to this year.

And to any of the many people I’ve met here in Aotearoa, thank you so very much for your hospitality and your friendships.

070129 – Monday – WordPress upgraded

Sunday, January 28th, 2007

I use WordPress software for this blog and last night I upgraded the software from 2.0.3 to 2.1. So far as I can see, the problems have been minimal but if you, as a reader, see something odd about the blog, please let me know. You can drop me a note on the contact me option on the right side.

Thanks !