Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Personal – a bit more …

Thursday, July 5th, 2012

Chris

My younger son, Chris, has been  here in New Zealand now for six weeks and he’s decided that he loves the place and is going to arrange permanent residency here, if he can.

This is one the best things that could ever have happened for me.

I love New Zealand and I’m very happy to be here as a permanent resident.  But my family all remained in the U.S. on the other side of the planet.  And I’ve missed them and I’ve felt my separation from them deeply.

Originally, in 2006, my second wife, Sharon, and I were going to immigrate here together.  But for a series of complex reasons, that didn’t work out.  And so I came alone  in 2009 and she stayed and we divorced.

At 64 now, I’ve made a new life for myself here in this wonderful and isolated bit of the world.   But, it’s been a series of harrowing years between the beginning of the journey back in 2006 and now.

Prostate Cancer (which I beat), a divorce, the loss of our joint land (25 acres)  and business (a nursery), the February 2011 earthquake here; which took my beautiful and fully paid for executive apartment in Christchurch, a heart attack (which I also survived).  It’s been an emotional and intense few years.

But the Beloved gives as well as takes and I’ve found a new relationship here with a wonderful and intelligent Kiwi woman named Colette.  She’s shared her home and life with me since the earthquake and that arrangement has worked out brilliantly.

She’s calm and (thank you, Jesus) hasn’t an ounce of drama queen in her.   Straight and true as the day is long.

Colette

She feels and she cares but with deep reason and thoughtfullness.  It would not be an exaggeration to say that she very probably saved me from depression and possible self destruction during my darkest days.

And now comes my son.   Full of energy and enthusiasm, he’s landed here with both feet on the ground.   He’s found a wonderful partner (with whom he’s living now) and he’s gotten excellent job prospects and all in such short order that he’s truly amazed me.  I think he’s going to make a success of life here in this beautiful place.  Certainly all the signs are favoring him and that desire.

So, these are the cards I find spread before me now as I prepare to go and revisit the U.S. for 10 weeks.

I have a wonderful partner and friend here in Colette who shares her house and life with me and who has given me the ungrudging freedom to go on this journey to resurrect and renew my family ties and my many U.S. friendships.

And I’m leaving my son here now building a new life for himself.  And in the process, he is so deeply enriching my life by my knowing that one of my beloved blood kin is now sharing this New Zealand life and experience.

Beauty

This Blog is primarily about the mess this world is in.  That such things deeply concern me any reader here will know.

But you should also know, friends, that I am a deeply grateful man to be alive now, in this time in history and to be living the life I have.

– Dennis

 

Personal

Wednesday, July 4th, 2012

Myself

For those of you who hate it when I talk about personal stuff here on my Blog, you should crawl under your desks now.

And, for the rest of you, I’d like to share that I am off next week on a trip to the U.S. for 12 weeks or so.   I plan to visit with friends and family and travel up and down the west coast from Southern California to British Columbia couch surfing and enjoying the warm weather and all of those who are near and dear to me.

I don’t know how much I’ll be posting while I’m on the road and I think that if I do post, it’ll probably be more about my personal experiences during my travels than it will be about world issues.  But then, I did mention that it is My Blog, yes?   (smile).

If any of you, my readers, like to wax pontifical over a beer or a glass of wine and if you live within 100 miles of the coast between Southern California and Southern British Columbia and if you wouldn’t mind a good chin wag, then drop me a note for I am, above all else, a social creature that likes to hear his own voice woven in with others in good conversation.

Cheers!

– Dennis

 

African American Doctor Depicted as Gorilla at UCLA Event

Friday, June 15th, 2012

– Racism has no place … anywhere.   But surely, it has no place in medical academia.

– But, apparently, it is alive and well at one of America’s foremost Medical Campuses; UCLA.

– Watch this video to see what’s going on and sign the petition.

AND pass this on and do your part to say ‘no‘ to this sort of crap.

– Dennis

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

– To the Video…

– To the Petition…

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– Research thanks to John P.

Quote of the Day

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012

“A time will come when a politician who has wilfully made war and promoted international dissension will be as sure of the dock and much surer of the noose than a private homicide. It is not reasonable that those who gamble with men’s lives should not stake their own”   – H.G. Wells

“Follow your Bliss” revisited

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

– Picked this up from a beautiful little Blog called Life 2.0.   Recommended.

– Dennis

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“No “yes.” Either “HELL YEAH!” or “no.” ……
When deciding whether to do something, if you feel anything less than “Wow! That would be amazing! Absolutely! Hell yeah!”—then say “no.” When you say “no” to most things, you leave room in your life to throw yourself completely into that rare thing that makes you say “HELL YEAH!” Every event you get invited to. Every request to start a new project. If you’re not saying “HELL YEAH!” about it, say “no.” We’re all busy. We’ve all taken on too much. Saying yes to less is the way out.“

– From Derek Sivers’ book, Anything You Want

– To the full article over on Life 2.0 …

Stairway to heaven

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

– I just put it on with headphones and let it rip.   It truly is one of the best, if not the best, pieces of music ever.   Give yourself to it and it will reward you.

– Dennis

 

The man who sold his life on eBay

Sunday, April 29th, 2012

– I really love (some of the) people who push the envelope is various ways.   This guy is one of them.   You have to admire his courage and audacity.

– Dennis

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It’s a dream many of us have – to throw in the job, sell the house and set off into the great unknown with just a passport and a thirst for adventure.

Usually, reality gets in the way. But not for Ian Usher, the Perth man who made international headlines when, during a midlife crisis, he decided to auction his entire life – including his house, job, car and even friends – on eBay.

A heartbroken Usher made the drastic move after his wife left him, six years after they emigrated from England to Western Australia.

In August 2008 he farewelled his friends and left his Wellard home (which eventually sold for A$399,000 the traditional way after the winning eBay bidder withdrew at the last minute) bound for Dubai.

Guiding him was a list of 100 goals he wanted to complete in 100 weeks.

Four years and 93 goals later, 48-year-old Mr Usher is now living on his very own Caribbean island and has found love again.

Along the way he visited dozens of countries while ticking off the list of goals, which included running with the bulls in Spain, cage diving with sharks in South Africa, meeting Richard Branson, having a workplace romance, learning to fly a plane and skydiving nude.

Learning French, joining the “mile high” club, developing a six pack and scoring a bit-part in a Hollywood movie were also achieved during what he described as an “incredible” two years.

“I think a couple of stand-out ones were swimming with a mother humpback whale and her calf in Japan, and riding a motorbike on the Wall of Death. My week in Pamplona in Spain was fantastic, and terrifying too, running with the bulls there,” he said.

“[Other standouts were] flying a plane solo, seeing the red crabs at Christmas Island. I could go on, it was an incredible two years.”

Usher’s mission was also altruistic, and saw him raise A$10,000 for charity and establish an online support network for those who, like him, found themselves “blindsided” by life.

He wrote lengthy blogs during his travels and has since also self-published a book, A Life Sold ,which was also on his list of goals.

– More…

 

The Moral Necessity of a Godless Existence

Saturday, April 28th, 2012

– I’m not sure how I feel about this.   I’ve been going around and around about this question for years and the author here, Tauriq Moosa, certainly states one side of the question very clearly.

– Dennis

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In a previous post, I indicated what I consider the “dangerous” realisation that there is no top-down meaning; that our actions aren’t found to be important by anyone (or One) other than ourselves. This idea destroyed and continues to destroy many ideas I embraced (and that I encounter). Based on this, one must ask what follows.

One might become nihilistic, depressed and/or commit suicide; one might also choose to deliberately ignore all the evidence and conjure up bizarre claims about energy and so oninflating our solipsism to the point where we view our actionsas – from a top-down, metaphysical perspective – meaningful.  These are just two, quite extreme, ways people respond to what they realise is a meaningless (from a top-down perspective) existence.

Many of us grew up with the idea that “right” and “wrong” were synonyms for God’s likes and dislikes. Pork and alcohol, premarital sex, praying regularly, clothing in special places, strange rituals, respecting one’s elders: these were the types of ideas that fit the bracket of “morality” for me, when I was young and considered myself Muslim. Looking at that list now, one can see how utterly solipsistic it is. From dietary to fashion, the invocation of God had little to do with what I realise now actually morally matters: the wellbeing and reduction of unnecessary suffering of others. For my younger self – and for many others –we need not worry about the well-being of others because that is God’s domain. What’s the use of interfering, when life is dependent on how much love you’ve earned from God? If something bad happens, it is because you have upset God somehow: you haven’t prayed correctly, bathed correctly, dressed correctly, respected correctly, thought correctly. Of course, “correctly” was a synonym for whatever God wants. Morality therefore became merely about how much or little you thought God loved you, followed by what you planned to do about it.

This apathy is certainly not true for all religious believers. Many are examples of the best people, including, for example, Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, especially during the struggle against apartheid in South Africa. Here we have a man who played an active, powerful role in helping an entire nation, filled with complete strangers, many of whom were and are godless. He certainly did not believe things would “just work out”, if left up to God. Even the Archbishop then was not of the opinion that morality concerns random rules about our relationship to our god.

Dangers and superstitious relations

The point is that one of the main dangers of thinking there is a top-down, moral perspective, who cares about us – aside from believing a lie – is it relinquishes from us responsibility. Thus we can, too easily, dismiss truly difficult problems in the world by simply proclaiming god or someone equivalent will sort it out in the end (karma, reincarnation, Heaven, Judgement Day, etc.); or, similarly, that there is some kind of balance that we ourselves have upset and can, therefore, set right through arbitrary rituals or invocations. “But,” as Barbara Ehrenreich points out

mind does not automatically prevail over matter, and to ignore the role of difficult circumstances – or worse, attribute them to our own thoughts – is to slide toward the kind of depraved smugness Rhonda Byrne [author of The Secret. See previous link] expressed when confronted with the tsunami of 2006. Citing the law of attraction, she stated that disasters like tsunamis can happen only to people who are on the same frequency as the event.”

That is, they brought it on themselves. It was not the failure of poor foundations or structural engineering problems – that remained broken due to inefficiency, mismanagement, and corruption. No, instead, it was people thinking “negative” thoughts and sending these out into the universe. One can easily see similar kind of “reasoning” when Jerry Falwell proclaimed that 9/11 was (partially) caused by the gays and liberals in the US, for upsetting God.

Notice these are no different to superstitious behaviour. Black cats and broken mirrors are merely denial of our often horrible existence in quirky clothing: instead of attributing the car crash to pure chance, we try recall the last dark feline encounter. Instead of facing up to our failings as a marriage partner, we locate shattered reflective surfaces or astrological signs.

Prayers, rituals, blaming liberals and gays, shattered mirrors and black cats are allmethods we invoke to try have some control on a chaotic, top-down meaningless existence that results in deaths and suffering over which we have no control. The danger is twofold: (1) we don’t engage with reality, to actually sort problems out and, similarly, (2) we rebuff responsibility on to arbitrary, non-causal “tokens”, like broken mirrors. Things won’t get fixed, problems won’t really be solved, but wewill have a small moment of serenity when we stroke a cross or toss salt over our shoulder.

Hollow responsibility

Hollowing out responsibility primarily empties moral action. If we are not responsible, then there is no reason to act morally. For example, by saying floods are caused by negative thoughts or terrorist incidents are punishments for upsetting God, we don’t need to look at fixing engineering problems or the growing danger of radical Islam.

Thus by not recognising there is no central moral agent, who can make things right because he loves you from that cosmic top-down perspective, we create a fake, essentially superstitious solution. We won’t solve problems. We don’t make the world secure. This is almost no where better represented than the utterly useless act of prayer: it does more to comfort the believer, pacifying him into inaction, but filled with feelings of accomplishment, than provide any solution to the problem being prayed for.

Again, this is not how many would react, but I am pointing out the dangers I saw for myself and what I see for others. Thus, aside from not recognising the reality of a top-down meaningless existence, we create a lie that perpetuates apathy in a world constantly and desperately in need of action.

My reason for writing, my reason for constantly trying to assess the reality of things is to undo what inaction and apathy does and has done to us; to try understand and undermine what believing you have the answers to right and wrong, because of magic books, does to our social policy and law. I recognise no magical being is going to solve the problems of the world and thus I think I need to do what I can to help. Whether you think I’m still wasting my time by writing and educating (though evidence tells me otherwise), I at least can be persuaded through engaging with the real world and not arbitrary, Bronze-aged moral rules.

– To the original…

 

Ditches and sun

Friday, February 17th, 2012

After the cow adventures last night, we returned today to deal with putting the pipes down in the ditch.   This will be a ‘french drain’ system which means that the water that is down in the ground because of rain will go into perforated pipes buried in gravel  under the ground and be carried away and not cause the water table to rise so high that the local septic system will fail.

So, the ditch that the cow got into last night is the same one we worked with all day putting in pipes.

All day we used a surveyor’s to measure the hight of the pipe under the ground to ensure that water that flowed into it will proceed downhill as desired.   Pipes were glued together, gravel was carried, ditches were crossed and climbed into and out of again.  And all of this under the hot sun.

After all the cold unseasonable weather in Christchurch, it was nice to feel the heat here in Takaka as we worked.

It was a type of work I’ve done many times when I used to be part of a nursery business but I haven’t done it for some time now.   Today, I enjoyed working out under the open sky and sweating.   Good honest labor.

And thus ends a Friday in Golden Bay.

The Day of the COW

Friday, February 17th, 2012

16/02/2012 – Today, I drove my motorcycle from Christchurch to Golden Bay up at the northern end of the South Island; a distance of about 250 miles, roughly.   I’m going to spend several days up here visiting friends. It was a good ride though I worried during the first leg, if the weather was going to be bad.   From Christchurch to Culverden, it got progressively grayer and colder and I seriously considered turning around and packing it in.   But, I pressed on and not long after, the blue skies and sunlight began to return and from there out, the day will brilliant.  

The road up here took me through the central parts of the northern half of the South Island.   Towns with names like Culverden, Springs Junction, Murchison and Motueka rolled by sporadically.  But most of the country is beautiful farming country with green forested mountains around it.   Too rural for me, I think but beautiful none the less.

Some where around 5 pm, I arrived at Bob’s place outside of Takaka.   I really love this area and always have.   I’ve said often that just about the only rural area in New Zealand that I would seriously consider living in would be Golden Bay.  

It’s beautiful and it is progressive and that’s a nice combination.   It is one of New Zealand’s best kept secrets and I only know about it because of my friend, Bob.  

He and I met when he still lived in Christchurch and I followed his move up here with great interest.   Golden Bay is an isolated area in the northeastern corner of the South Island.  There’s basically one road in and out and it goes up and over the mountains (Takaka Hill)  that stand between Golden Bay on the west and Motueka on the coast to the east.   There’s less that 10,000 people in the entire area and it is wildly beautiful.

Bob and I sat drinking beers for a bit and catching up.   Then he went down and milked his goats and I joined him.   At some point, later in the evening after tea (Kiwi’s call the evening meal, ‘tea’), the phone rang. 

It was the girl who’s living as a tenant on a  property that Bob’s daughter owns here in Golden Bay a mile or so from Bob’s place.   Bob’s daughter is in Australia just now working. The problem was that Bob’s been digging a big drainage ditch on his daughter’s property and one of the two cows that live on the property had walked into the ditch from the shallow end and had continued walking up it until she’d got stuck far up the ditch and at a level where her head was below the surrounding ground level.   So much for cow curiosity. The tenant had found the cow stuck and called Bob to see if he could sort the situation out.

So, Bob and I piled into his car with some ropes and such and took off to see the situation.   It was not long before sundown so we needed to get to it if anything could be done. When we arrived, it was much as described.   A cow was 50 feet or so up the ditch from the end wedged in with the sides lightly pressing her flanks and her head two feet below ground level.

Cows don’t seem to have any idea about how to back up.   And no one was keen on getting down into the ditch either in front of her or behind her least she panic and trample them.  

Bob first tried tying the rope onto her horns and pulling her backwards but that only had limited success as she’d turn her head backwards and look at us rather than backing up. Then we tried putting the rope around her neck arranged so it would not cinch-up and strangle her.   She backed up a bit with that approach but, in the end, Bob got down in the ditch behind her and tried a combination of a rope tied to one of her back legs and pulling on her tail while I kept a pull on the rope around her neck pulling her backwards.

Lot’s of fussing and pulling ensued.   At one point, she went down on her front knees and wouldn’t get up and Bob had to jump down in front and help her up. It looked for awhile if we might have to leave her in the ditch for the night and have the digger operator come in the morning and dig a big hole beside her so she could turn around. But, with a lot of pulling and encouragement and a few close calls, she finally backup up until the surrounding ground was low enough that she could clamber out of the ditch.   

Once she was out, Bob grabbed her head and soothed her (he’d bottle-raised her from a calf so she trusted him) and he took the loop off around her neck and I cut the rope looped around her back leg (staying vary carefully to the side so I wouldn’t get kicked senseless).

When all of this was done, we could barely see our way around in the dark.  He dropped some boards and clutter into the shallow end of the ditch so she wouldn’t enter it again and we were off.

So, it was an interesting day all told.   A beautiful motorcycle ride up the South Island followed by a nice welcome and a meal at Bob’s and then a big adventure in the near dark with a cow in a ditch.

Life can be quite surprising and fun at times.