samadhisoft.com

When it rains, it pours

The various things going on in my life; my New Zealand immigration, my pending divorce and my prostate cancer treatment are all tracking along in their slow ways.   As much as I’d like all of this to hurry up and come to some resolution so I can regroup and move on after the dust settles, it just isn’t going to happen any sooner than it is going to happen.

The divorce could be dropped, or it could finish as soon as the first week in October or it could drag on.   Time will tell.

The Prostate surgery is currently scheduled to happen on September 1st (or sooner, if I can grab a cancellation).   I’m going to go with a high-tech approach which you can read about here, if you are curious.

I currently am holding a ticket to New Zealand that has me flying out of LAX headed south on November 25th.

In the mean time, the world continues in its uneven progress and, in spite of the fact that I haven’t been Blogging on-topic since July 1st, I’ve still been reading the news via my RSS news Aggregator and setting aside appropriate articles for the theme of this Blog.

So, I’m going to resume posting stuff.   Maybe, it’ll keep me busy and help speed me through the rest of this stuff.

Don’t misunderstand the graphic, above.  I do feel like a bit of a lightening rod these days but I am not feeling sorry for myself.   All this stuff has purpose and meaning and it is mine alone to figure out what it is.

Cheers, my friends.

Well, they say that when it rains, sometimes it pours.   I feel like there’s a bit of that going around in my life just now.

I’m on the brink of shifting to New Zealand.   I’ve got a divorce filed against me in progress … and now I’ve been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer.

Whew.

The relatively good news, with respect to the cancer, is that the tumor was found early and I’ve got a 95% chance that it is fully contained within the Prostate Gland so that if I have a Prostatectomy, chances will be high that I’ll dodge this bullet.

As I said before, when I wrote a note about the divorce, these life changing events tend to change the things around that one is concerned with from day to day.  Of  late, I haven’t had much interest in Blogging about the world, politics and the environment.   Not that these things aren’t important.  It is just, rather, that I’m distracted by personal stuff big time.

I’ll post occassionaly as all of these things unfold and, hopefully, I’ll resume doing some posting on the basic subject matter of this Blog.

Cheers, for now….

I haven’t posted here since July 1st.  The reason is that on July 2nd, my wife had divorce papers served on me.   As you can imagine this pretty much rearranged all the priorities in my life and created an emotional firestorm.

I’m not going to go into any of the details here other than to share a few general thoughts with you, if you should ever be unfortunate enough to find yourself in this situation.

Be honest and open yourself to your friends.  Let them see your thoughts, share you feelings and invite their comments and probes.  There are always two sides to everything and we are far too prone to make up our own stories of  ‘why’ and ‘how’ and then to believe in these stories because they comfort us and usually somehow excuse us of blame.

Some of my friend’s observations have been knife blades and some of their questions razors.  And they’ve made me take my stories apart and put them together again several times.

One of my friends suggested that I should be compassionate and take the high road at every moment, if I was capable of it.  And he was right; anger only begets anger.   But, he said, also be gentle on yourself, if you succumb.   We are all, after all human.

If you and your partner are capable of talking, do.   Open, listen, question, seek to understand.   Explain your side and listen deeply to her’s.   Cry and hold this other child of God who is just as hurt as you are.  But be wary of the retraction or promise taken back or given in a bid to make the pain stop.

And if you meditate, then do.   Amid the all the pain and confusion, the light that lies within a  good meditation smiles and gently embraces all of it and you.   All the thoughts and pain, all the confusion and hurt, they swirl like birds in an angry sky. And then they slowly gather in to a place beyond words that is always there waiting like an eternal mother that loves you deeply.  Meditations can keep your feet on the ground in the storms.

I meditated a long time tonight and tried to see everything over the past four years or so through her eyes.  And there was a lot to see and understand.  And when I stood up, I was calmer and the world made just a little more sense.

Be well, my friends.   I will resume blogging soon but I make no promises.  These life changes have a way of making us into new people.  And I don’t know what I’m going to think is important then.